I'm one of the ones who just can't "shake it off." I don't know why I'm that way. I don't want to be that way. I would love to just "shake it off" and have a happy day no matter what my heart is saying to me. Is there anyone else out there like me?
I read the Word of God and see (thankfully) in Hebrews 13:5(b) that God will never leave me nor forsake me... but the (a) part of that verse says not to covet and to be content. *sigh* That causes me more suffering. :) How can I be content in my suffering? I count my blessings -- well, I try; there's just too many! I look at the "good things" in life, and I dig into the Word. I listen to praise and worship music, I watch the beauty of my children as they grow and learn... I see that my suffering is NOTHING compared to so many others -- and let's not even talk about comparing our suffering to that of Jesus.
So, what's wrong with me? Why do I feel as though I'm suffering?
A few weeks ago I went on a walk with our children. The boys were running a bit ahead jogging, racing, etc. Our youngest tripped over something in the gravels. He didn't stop, just hopped up and continued the journey. Our middle son, following close behind, tripped over whatever was in the gravels. He hopped up, dusted off his knees, turned to me and said with a smile, "I'm okay!" And continued the journey.
Immediately I thought of life. Is that how we're supposed to be? There are all sorts of obstacles that trip us up on this journey. A biggie in my life this week is my daughter's 18th birthday -- one that she's spending with Jesus as she has for the last 17 birthdays. How do you handle that sort of suffering? What do you do with it?
Pretend it's not there?
Hide it?
Dust off your knees and continue the journey?
Well, all of the above, in some respects. I've learned people don't want to deal with your suffering. They get tired of hearing your heart's cries. They want only the happy side of life, so with those folks, I hide it, pretend it's not there.
I carry on somehow with life's daily tasks relishing in the blessings of the Lord, relying on His promises. I dust off my knees, look up to the Father and say, "You know what? I'm NOT okay. I NEED YOU!!!" And He's always faithful...
Even today He led me to His Word:
"The eternal God is your refuge, and underneath are the everlasting arms" Deut. 33:27
"I would have lost heart, unless I had believed That I would see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait on the Lord; Be of good courage, and He shall strengthen your heart; Wait, I say, on the Lord." Psalm 27:13-14
"For the Lord will comfort Zion, He will comfort all her waste places; He will make her wilderness like Eden, and her desert like the garden of the Lord; Joy and gladness will be found in it, Thanksgiving and the voice of melody." Isaiah 51:3
(and always THE most encouraging to me...)
"But I do not want you to be ignorant, brethren, concerning those who have fallen asleep, lest you sorrow as others who have no hope. For if we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so God will bring with Him those who sleep in Jesus. For this we say to you by the word of the Lord, that we who are alive and remain until the coming of the Lord will by no means precede those who are asleep. For the Lord Himself will descend from heaven with a shout, with the voice of an archangel, and with the trumpet of God. And the dead in Christ will rise first. Then we who are alive and remain shall be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And thus we shall always be with the Lord. Therefore comfort one another
with these words." 1 Thess. 4:13-18
(NKJV, emphasis mine)
So, what do you do with suffering? Let me suggest that you bring it before the throne -- boldly. Be honest with God. He already knows your heart anyway, but it sure does feel good to know HE's the one you can be 100% totally honest and open with. And He loves you anyway!!! :o) He doesn't tire of hearing your heartaches when your heart is shattered. And the surprising thing is -- HE GIVES YOU STRENGTH TO CARRY ON. And His strength is made perfect in our weakness... (2 Cor. 12:9)
Allow Him to perfect His strength in You -- take your suffering to Him... daily, hourly, how ever often you need to -- He's Listening...... always.
3 comments:
Hey Jan, it's Leila!
What a wonderful post! It really blessed me today. My situation is not the same as yours but Earnie and I had an early misscarriage before we had Sophia and although I know its pretty common for that to happen in early pregnancy, I still grieve for this child. The comfort that I find is the same. That I know she is sitting with Jesus and that I will be able to see her for the first time when I walk through the gates of heaven. It both excites me to know that I have another child waiting for me and saddens me that I cannot hold and talk to her now. God bless you.
Wow Miss jan that was really encouraging. It's me steph. From the co-op. Creative writing?
Jan,
I cannot imagine the pain you must be feeling. I think of you often and wonder how you are dealing with your feelings concerning your daugther's death. My heart goes out to you. I whine about all the insignificant things going on in my life and your pain puts me to shame. I love you and I know God will bless you and comfort you.
Love you,
Cindy Brown
Post a Comment