Going to Battle with IF ONLY's

Do you ever battle with if only's?

I do. They creep into my thoughts totally uninvited and steal my peace way too often. There's a wide range of if only's, too -- If only I had started the dishwasher sooner, If only I hadn't salted those potatoes so much, ... If only I had taken my daughter with me that August day...

Little if only's. BIG if only's.

Decisions are certainly a part of our lives... some major, some minor. But there's no avoiding decisions -- no matter your age. My cute little two year old great nephew makes decisions. "Do I obey, or try my luck at..." His big blue eyes look up (with eyelashes about a MILE long!), that little slobber covered chin tilts toward his chest, his chubby hand reaching for ... His mind obviously swirling with "Are they gonna stop me?"

What it takes some of us a bit too long to learn is that our decisions bring consequences. Now, if my great nephew reaches for the ... whatever ... it could result in giggles, a mess, a tongue lashing... However, what if he's reaching up toward the stove for a pot of boiling water. The consequences could be devastating! And we as his caregivers would do everything in our power to prevent that from happening.

Do you see where I'm going with this? God, our omniscient, omnipotent Father, is watching our every move. We are reaching toward something. God sees the consequences. Maybe it's a pot of boiling water and we don't realize the danger. He does. He tries to stop us, provides a way out. "...but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it." 1 Corinthians 10:13(b)

However -- the if only's come into play when we don't take the "way out" God has provided. Somehow we think we know better. Other times we rush into decisions. What about those decisions we make out of sheer obligation, backed by guilt? Then there's our stubborn pride... BUT sometimes decisions are forced upon us. We had no choice. ... If only those little children in third world countries weren't born with AIDS... they didn't ask to be conceived, and yet their entire life will most likely be filled with suffering. If only...

Plaguing if only's... But here comes the good part. You see, none of our decisions, none of the happenings in this world takes God by surprise. HE knew our decisions before we were ever born. Even better than that -- His will will be carried out in spite of our decisions... though our decisions will have personal consequences. The Revelation of Jesus Christ is written and it won't change.

Though God already knows our decisions, we don't. We are in training. We must learn to make better decisions... He can help: "If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given him. But let him ask in faith, with no doubting..." James 1:5-6 So, let us begin afresh by asking God for wisdom and having faith that He will give it to us. Then, let us have the courage to make wise decisions limiting future restless nights filled with if only's.

That leaves me with the question, what about all those past if only's? I, along family and friends, have been affected ... One particular decision I made as a teenager haunts me to this day. I feel I led a friend down a wrong path... a very destructive path. Of course I didn't realize it at the time, but nevertheless it has had lifelong consequences -negatively- for my friend... I'm tempted, when I travel down that particular If Only Avenue, to consider her eternal destiny has be thwarted because of me. Yet God reminds me that He is bigger than me and my influence... PRAISE HIM FOR THAT!!

If Only's can be tormenting, but they are done. If you have too many, like I do, we must rely on God's Word and His promise of GRACE. Oh, His sweet amazing grace... "But God, who is rich in mercy, because of His great love with which He loved us, even when we were dead in trespasses made us alive together with Christ (by grace you have been saved)" Ephesians 2:4-5

You see, Satan wants our if only's to eat us alive -- to devour us, if you will. That's his plan. BUT GOD wants us to understand that His grace covers all those past mistakes -- big and small; "But where sin abounded, grace abounded much more, so that as sin reigned in death, even so grace might reign through righteousness to eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord." (Romans 5:20-21) We may have to deal with consequences and that's not always easy, but somehow, His grace is sufficient. (2 Corinthians 12:9) The important thing is to understand that if we're in sin, we don't have to stay there. God will offer a way out -- search for it, then TAKE IT!! Surrender your life to Him -- but you'll then have another if only -- If only I had done this sooner!! :)

I promise you'll never regret living for Christ, though. Through HIM we have the victory over the If Only Battle!!

My brother gave me a plaque once that said: The past cannot be changed, but the future is all you want it to be.

Search for ways to make Jesus smile today.....

What do you do with suffering?

Suffering comes in all shapes and sizes, and we all handle it differently. Some can simply "shake it off" and go on with their positive attitude while others, well, others just can't.

I'm one of the ones who just can't "shake it off." I don't know why I'm that way. I don't want to be that way. I would love to just "shake it off" and have a happy day no matter what my heart is saying to me. Is there anyone else out there like me?

I read the Word of God and see (thankfully) in Hebrews 13:5(b) that God will never leave me nor forsake me... but the (a) part of that verse says not to covet and to be content. *sigh* That causes me more suffering. :) How can I be content in my suffering? I count my blessings -- well, I try; there's just too many! I look at the "good things" in life, and I dig into the Word. I listen to praise and worship music, I watch the beauty of my children as they grow and learn... I see that my suffering is NOTHING compared to so many others -- and let's not even talk about comparing our suffering to that of Jesus.

So, what's wrong with me? Why do I feel as though I'm suffering?

A few weeks ago I went on a walk with our children. The boys were running a bit ahead jogging, racing, etc. Our youngest tripped over something in the gravels. He didn't stop, just hopped up and continued the journey. Our middle son, following close behind, tripped over whatever was in the gravels. He hopped up, dusted off his knees, turned to me and said with a smile, "I'm okay!" And continued the journey.

Immediately I thought of life. Is that how we're supposed to be? There are all sorts of obstacles that trip us up on this journey. A biggie in my life this week is my daughter's 18th birthday -- one that she's spending with Jesus as she has for the last 17 birthdays. How do you handle that sort of suffering? What do you do with it?

Pretend it's not there?
Hide it?
Dust off your knees and continue the journey?

Well, all of the above, in some respects. I've learned people don't want to deal with your suffering. They get tired of hearing your heart's cries. They want only the happy side of life, so with those folks, I hide it, pretend it's not there.

I carry on somehow with life's daily tasks relishing in the blessings of the Lord, relying on His promises. I dust off my knees, look up to the Father and say, "You know what? I'm NOT okay. I NEED YOU!!!" And He's always faithful...

Even today He led me to His Word:

"The eternal God is your refuge, and underneath are the everlasting arms" Deut. 33:27

"I would have lost heart, unless I had believed That I would see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait on the Lord; Be of good courage, and He shall strengthen your heart; Wait, I say, on the Lord." Psalm 27:13-14

"For the Lord will comfort Zion, He will comfort all her waste places; He will make her wilderness like Eden, and her desert like the garden of the Lord; Joy and gladness will be found in it, Thanksgiving and the voice of melody." Isaiah 51:3

(and always THE most encouraging to me...)

"But I do not want you to be ignorant, brethren, concerning those who have fallen asleep, lest you sorrow as others who have no hope. For if we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so God will bring with Him those who sleep in Jesus. For this we say to you by the word of the Lord, that we who are alive and remain until the coming of the Lord will by no means precede those who are asleep. For the Lord Himself will descend from heaven with a shout, with the voice of an archangel, and with the trumpet of God. And the dead in Christ will rise first. Then we who are alive and remain shall be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And thus we shall always be with the Lord. Therefore comfort one another
with these words." 1 Thess. 4:13-18

(NKJV, emphasis mine)

So, what do you do with suffering? Let me suggest that you bring it before the throne -- boldly. Be honest with God. He already knows your heart anyway, but it sure does feel good to know HE's the one you can be 100% totally honest and open with. And He loves you anyway!!! :o) He doesn't tire of hearing your heartaches when your heart is shattered. And the surprising thing is -- HE GIVES YOU STRENGTH TO CARRY ON. And His strength is made perfect in our weakness... (2 Cor. 12:9)

Allow Him to perfect His strength in You -- take your suffering to Him... daily, hourly, how ever often you need to -- He's Listening...... always.

What's Your Heart's Desire?

I'm married to a dreamer. A romantic, sentimental, follow-your-heart dreamer. He wooed me by bringing me a beautiful Tiger Lily to plant and we forever watch it grow and spread bringing more beautiful flowers -- just like our love. He played the guitar and sang John Denver's Annie's Song... "You fill up my senses like a night in the forest..." and My Sweet Lady... "Close your eyes and rest your weary mind, I promise I'll stay right here beside you..." He wrote songs and poetry just for me. Aaahhh - my dreamer.

Sadly, as years passed, dreams seemed to die and reality set in. Evidence of the toll of life's hardships, broken hearts, shattered dreams . The saddest part of all -- I am a realist. I felt I helped shatter my husband's dreams by always pointing out reality. You know, how those dreams simply can't become reality since we don't have enough money, time, etc. After I realized what I had done, in partnership with life's devastation, I realized something had to be done! Well, let me say, the Lord helped me realize something had to be done. The darkness in my husband's eyes broke my heart. His dreams and desires -- well, they were his hope, his joy, his motivation.

What is our lives without dreams, without desires?

My first novel is based upon this very thing, for the Lord led me to Psalm 37:4. The NKJV says it like this: "Delight yourself also in the LORD, And He shall give you the desires of your heart."

Then, a couple months ago I ran across John Eldredge's gift book, Dare to Desire. I bought that for my husband. I began trying to encourage him to dream again -- as much as my pessimistic realism would allow. Light is slowly returning to my husband's eyes. He is playing his guitar again... I had to apologize for my "non-dreamer" attitude set to fulfill the expectations and obligations I thought others had for my life. We are seeking to delight in the Lord. You see, our heart's desire has become united -- just please the Lord. Our dreams and desires don't always fit in with the will of the Lord because we are in the world. However, when we strive to delight in Him, He adjusts our vision, our heart, to His desires! Isn't that AWESOME!

John Eldredge said in his book, Dare to Desire, "The damage of abandoned desire is a life lost unto itself. Millions of souls drift through life without direction. They take their cues from others and live out scripts someone else wrote for them." Life is filled with expectations. The church is filled with expectations. Are you living a life others expect from you? Or are you living the life God expects of you?

The busyness of life can get us drawn into simply survival mode -- dreams lost. But focusing on the Word, communion with the Father, living in His presence, dreams are reborn.


I believe God placed dreams, desires, hope in my husband's heart. And my heart smiles to see those reborn.

Freedom -- only in America?

Happy 4th of July to all our fellow Americans!!

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And to all our brothers and sisters in Christ --

"For the creation was subjected to futility, not willingly, but because of Him who subjected it in hope; because the creation itself also will be delivered from the bondage of corruption into the glorious liberty of the children of God." (Romans 8:20-21 emphasis mine)

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"Now the Lord is the Spirit; and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty." (2 Corinthians 3:17 emphasis mine)

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"Stand fast therefore in the liberty by which Christ has made us free, and do not be entangled again with a yoke of bondage." (Galatians 5:1 emphasis mine)

(Scriptures from NKJV)

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Everyday is a celebration of freedom...